Attire for Funeral: Funeral Dress Etiquette
When it comes to deciding on what to wear, two lifecycle events typically cause the most angst: weddings and funerals. With weddings, the invitation usually includes this information, such as "black tie" or "black tie optional." For funerals, however, it's often a guessing game. And understandably, you want to dress in a way that is respectful and appropriate.
While the situation can be stressful, it doesn't have to be. MemorialPlanning.com has outlined a series of helpful tips regarding funeral dress etiquette that should help anyone in figuring out the appropriate attire for a funeral.
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1Accessories
Accessories
Head
Let's take it from the top. Should you wear a hat or head covering? In some religions, such as certain branches of Judaism, men are required to wear a skullcap (referred to as a kippah or yarmulke) and women past bat mitzvah age (typically 12) are required to cover their heads. In other religions, it's common for women to wear stylish hats. If this applies to the funeral you'll be attending, go for it. Otherwise, a fancy hat may be considered too ostentatious.
Makeup
Next, let's talk about makeup. Don't apply makeup for a night out on the town. Use an understated color palette.
Accessories
When it comes to funeral attire etiquette for jewelry, it should be subtle and understated, for both women and men. Avoid flashy, "blingy" jewelry. You will be offering your hand(s) in gestures of comfort, so keep rings and bracelets to a minimum. Women should also avoid wearing charm bracelets, as they may jingle during the ceremony.
Let's move to the neck area. It's customary for men to wear a necktie but may not be mandatory. If the funeral is during the workday, then it is acceptable to wear business attire. In fact, business casual is a safe bet. A jacket probably is not necessary. If your profession requires you to wear a suit, remember that you can always remove the jacket and/or tie if you feel overdressed.
Keep in mind that, in addition to feeling underdressed, you don't want to be so formally dressed that you make the mourners themselves look bad. Or, you can always keep a necktie in your pocket and put it on if needed. For women, it may be obvious but refrain from wearing a plunging neckline. Modesty is the best policy.
2Clothing
Clothing
Shirts
Next, let's talk about what to wear from the waist up. No tank tops for men, and it's a good idea for women to have covered shoulders as well. No crop tops. No T-shirts or sweatshirts, especially ones with offensive or questionable slogans on them.
Bottoms
Now, what about from the waist down? No shorts. No sweatpants or warm-up pants. No super-short hemlines. And, sorry, no jeans. Instead, opt for khakis.
Shoes
Lastly, what shoes should you wear to a funeral? Flip-flops are out. Tasteful sandals are fine. But stay away from work boots and sneakers, unless of course a physical condition requires that you wear supportive shoes such as sneakers. Women should avoid anything that would draw undue attention, such as extremely high heels or platform shoes.
Accessories
Head
Let's take it from the top. Should you wear a hat or head covering? In some religions, such as certain branches of Judaism, men are required to wear a skullcap (referred to as a kippah or yarmulke) and women past bat mitzvah age (typically 12) are required to cover their heads. In other religions, it's common for women to wear stylish hats. If this applies to the funeral you'll be attending, go for it. Otherwise, a fancy hat may be considered too ostentatious.
Makeup
Next, let's talk about makeup. Don't apply makeup for a night out on the town. Use an understated color palette.
Accessories
When it comes to funeral attire etiquette for jewelry, it should be subtle and understated, for both women and men. Avoid flashy, "blingy" jewelry. You will be offering your hand(s) in gestures of comfort, so keep rings and bracelets to a minimum. Women should also avoid wearing charm bracelets, as they may jingle during the ceremony.
Let's move to the neck area. It's customary for men to wear a necktie but may not be mandatory. If the funeral is during the workday, then it is acceptable to wear business attire. In fact, business casual is a safe bet. A jacket probably is not necessary. If your profession requires you to wear a suit, remember that you can always remove the jacket and/or tie if you feel overdressed.
Keep in mind that, in addition to feeling underdressed, you don't want to be so formally dressed that you make the mourners themselves look bad. Or, you can always keep a necktie in your pocket and put it on if needed. For women, it may be obvious but refrain from wearing a plunging neckline. Modesty is the best policy.
Clothing
Shirts
Next, let's talk about what to wear from the waist up. No tank tops for men, and it's a good idea for women to have covered shoulders as well. No crop tops. No T-shirts or sweatshirts, especially ones with offensive or questionable slogans on them.
Bottoms
Now, what about from the waist down? No shorts. No sweatpants or warm-up pants. No super-short hemlines. And, sorry, no jeans. Instead, opt for khakis.
Shoes
Lastly, what shoes should you wear to a funeral? Flip-flops are out. Tasteful sandals are fine. But stay away from work boots and sneakers, unless of course a physical condition requires that you wear supportive shoes such as sneakers. Women should avoid anything that would draw undue attention, such as extremely high heels or platform shoes.
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Is Wearing Black Mandatory?
Let's start with colors. For a wedding, women are discouraged from wearing white so that they don't "compete" with the bride. At a funeral, while you don't necessarily have to wear all black, you probably want to avoid bright, loud colors. Think understated. The last thing you want to do is detract attention from the deceased.
The exception to this would be if the deceased had previously requested that funeral guests wear a certain type of clothing. Some people ask friends and relatives in advance to refrain from gloom and doom, instead opting for a color-filled funeral. In that case, it's best to respect the wishes of the deceased.
If you don't have such details, a safe bet is to go dark.
When in Doubt, Ask
When in doubt about funeral attire etiquette and what to wear, ask someone. If you're not close enough to the family to ask them, ask a mutual friend or call the house of worship or funeral home. If you're still unsure about what to wear to a funeral, it's always safer to err on the conservative side.
Want more funeral etiquette information? Visit the following pages.
- Funeral Etiquette Guide
- What to Write in a Sympathy Card
- How to Give a Eulogy
- Bringing Children to a Funeral
- Wake vs. Viewing vs. Funeral: What's the Difference?
- What to Say at a Funeral
- Unique Ideas for Sympathy Gifts and Flowers
- Choosing Music for Your Funeral
- Where to Sit at a Funeral
- Helping Someone Through Grief
As an expert in etiquette and cultural norms, especially in the context of solemn occasions like funerals, I can provide comprehensive insights into the attire guidelines outlined in the article. My expertise is rooted in a deep understanding of various cultural and religious practices related to funeral ceremonies, as well as a keen awareness of the nuances involved in expressing respect and sympathy through appropriate clothing choices.
Let's delve into the key concepts discussed in the article:
1. Accessories:
Head Coverings:
- Some religious traditions, like certain branches of Judaism, mandate men to wear a skullcap (kippah or yarmulke), and women past bat mitzvah age may be required to cover their heads.
- Other religions may allow or encourage women to wear stylish hats, but ostentatious hats might be considered inappropriate.
Makeup:
- Suggested makeup should be understated and avoid vibrant or flashy colors.
Jewelry:
- Funeral attire etiquette recommends subtle and understated jewelry for both men and women.
- Flashy or "blingy" jewelry, rings, and bracelets should be kept to a minimum.
- Women are advised against wearing charm bracelets that may create noise during the ceremony.
Neckties:
- Men are traditionally expected to wear neckties, but it may not be mandatory.
- Business attire or business casual is deemed acceptable, and jackets may not be necessary.
2. Clothing:
Shirts:
- Tank tops for men and uncovered shoulders for women are discouraged.
- T-shirts, sweatshirts, and clothing with offensive slogans should be avoided.
Bottoms:
- Shorts, sweatpants, warm-up pants, super-short hemlines, and jeans are deemed inappropriate.
- Khakis are suggested as an alternative.
Shoes:
- Flip-flops are discouraged.
- Tasteful sandals are acceptable, but work boots and sneakers should be avoided unless necessary for health reasons.
- Women should avoid attention-grabbing footwear like extremely high heels or platform shoes.
3. Wearing Black:
- While not mandatory, wearing black or understated colors is recommended to avoid drawing attention away from the deceased.
- Exceptions exist if the deceased had specified a different dress code, which should be respected.
4. Seeking Guidance:
- When in doubt about funeral attire, individuals are encouraged to ask someone close to the family, a mutual friend, or contact the house of worship or funeral home for guidance.
- Erring on the conservative side is suggested when uncertain about appropriate attire.
This comprehensive guide covers various aspects of funeral dress etiquette, ensuring that individuals can navigate this sensitive matter with respect and cultural awareness. For further funeral etiquette information, the article suggests visiting additional resources on topics such as sympathy cards, eulogies, and supporting grieving individuals.
